If All You Know Comes From Psl And Manosphere Blogs...

[hairblues]

Do you embrace rejection? Honestly, when did you last ask a man out?

I once asked a woman out from work when I was 16 and she just flat out said no without an excuse or apology and it pretty much crushed me. I know some men are cocky or don't have feelings, but I do :/

I asked a man out last week...and he broke plans afterwards with me and I am still standing. The Earth did not swallow men up the attractive police did not come and revoke my attraction level.

you get rejected, you are not going to 'die'.

I have also embraced it with work situations..gone up for things I knew the chances of getting were slim to none...

i cant explain it to you but if you get in this head you will go for things more often that you normally would be afraid to try for fear of rejection.

and what happens is you feel relaxed in it. And sometimes that feeling of being relaxed makes the other person feel relaxed and it winds up working for you.

Your not ugly @JohnsonDDG. You are attractive. SO i don't know why you are afraid of being rejected.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

first rejection in my life was f*****g hard i remember got back home and thinking about that embracing moment in shower like 20 minutes

The girl I asked out is now fat and looks pretty terrible so there is that consolation.

Sadly it will never undo the mental scars!

 

[tomcat]

The girl I asked out is now fat and looks pretty terrible so there is that consolation.

Sadly it will never undo the mental scars!

yes but i have to admit i wasnt in my best shape when i asked that girl out so maybe i was rejected bc of my skinny look

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I asked a man out last week...and he broke plans afterwards with me and I am still standing. The Earth did not swallow men up the attractive police did not come and revoke my attraction level.

you get rejected, you are not going to 'die'.

I have also embraced it with work situations..gone up for things I knew the chances of getting were slim to none...

i cant explain it to you but if you get in this head you will go for things more often that you normally would be afraid to try for fear of rejection.

and what happens is you feel relaxed in it. And sometimes that feeling of being relaxed makes the other person feel relaxed and it winds up working for you.

Your not ugly @JohnsonDDG. You are attractive. SO i don't know why you are afraid of being rejected.

Who knows why? I think some people are just sensitive and find it harder than others do.

But I do 100% agree that life would be better if I didn't care about rejection and all that.

I would like to overcome it - I was also really shy as a kid and teen, and still am with people I don't know - and I know I should improve on it.

I need someone to teach me not to give a f*** on what people think about me.

It just seems like human nature to care though.

 

[hairblues]

That's impossible.

no it's not.

 

[hairblues]

Who knows why? I think some people are just sensitive and find it harder than others do.

But I do 100% agree that life would be better if I didn't care about rejection and all that.

I would like to overcome it - I was also really shy as a kid and teen, and still am with people I don't know - and I know I should improve on it.

I need someone to teach me not to give a f*** on what people think about me.

It just seems like human nature to care though.

I was not an outgoing child I had anxiety issues before most people even knew the word anxiety.

I always always did sh*t 'afraid' I took a lot of chances and felt fear while doing them.

You can psych yourself out to not care and when you do this and go for it you feel more relaxed..and if you are rejected you half expect it but it does not hold the same impression as when you are really 'hoping' or counting on it.

 

[Haironn]

Average, like real average (in looks and height)? LDAR.

Being average won't allow you to have a satisfying dating life these days.

And by satisfying, I mean that it's going to be a constant uphill battle no matter the method you chose (online or offline), and even if you secure a girlfriend.

It won't feel good, it will feel like a draining job and you'll only get scraps: drunk lays here and there, or a girlfriend who will have little respect for you, maybe let you have sex with her once a month, while she just looks at the ceiling slightly rolling her eyes and is waiting for it to be over.

Above average? Now we're talking, you can actually get girls and be happy in the short and long term. That said, you need to have your basics together. If you're unemployed, you're out. If your social skills suck, you're out.

Below average? Don't even bother trying.



I still don't see how they would do better.

They're going to talk their way out of their averageness?

Sounds like PUA BS to me.

If you have value (based on looks), you have value, and some girls will have to notice you whether it's online or offline.

If you use the method @JohnsonDDG and I used (spamming the f*** out of dating apps) and get 0 returns, you're not going to do any better in real life.

Value always gets noticed in one way or another. If 1000 girls online think your looks don't make the cut, the girls in real life are going to think the same.

You just don't look good enough to evoke interest in a woman, that or you posted pictures of you taking a dump on a gas station toilet.

And lol at "but in real life, you can talk to them and convince them that they actually want you!"

Thinking you can go from 0 prospect, 0 date online to having a shot in real life is delusional.

Bars and clubs... It makes me shiver thinking about the poor guys who are going to take this advice. And those poor girls who'll have to deal with them.

but not all women use tinder, or dating apps. on tinder every woman usually has quite a bit of men matched with her trying to get in her pants, so they become way more picky there.
also like other people said, on tinder it's just a picture, and the way you take the pictures makes a whole lot of difference, it's art by itself.
people use different lightning, body positions, effects and sometimes even edit and photshape their pics in one way or another to make them look better.
I even read a study on tinder that showed that men who took pictures with dogs/ an instrument like guitar were found more attractive to women.
hell on dating apps the way you take pics is a game by itself, the average joe that has no idea what they are doing or how to take the pics that will compliment them is already in a disadvantage, unless they are really good looking and look really good in every single picture they take.

in real life it's different than that.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

but not all women use tinder, or dating apps. on tinder every woman usually has quite a bit of men matched with her trying to get in her pants, so they become way more picky there.
also like other people said, on tinder it's just a picture, and the way you take the pictures makes a whole lot of difference, it's art by itself.
people use different lightning, body positions, effects and sometimes even edit and photshape their pics in one way or another to make them look better.
I even read a study on tinder that showed that men who took pictures with dogs/ an instrument like guitar were found more attractive to women.
hell on dating apps the way you take pics is a game by itself, the average joe that has no idea what they are doing or how to take the pics that will compliment them is already in a disadvantage, unless they are really good looking and look really good in every single picture they take.

in real life it's different than that.

This came up a few times - I'm in the camp where I believe you can take interesting pictures with good filters and get yourself more matches - some people believe its all in the face and no good filter can undo a bad face. The answer may even be somewhere in the middle.

I've often thought my dream girl may not even be on tinder - so i'd love to not be so reliant on them and have no fear of rejection, so I could just swan up to a random beauty and swoop her off her feet.

 

[resu]

Thinking you can go from 0 prospect, 0 date online to having a shot in real life is delusional.

You never heard of those couples who the guy insisted for a year until she gave in and been married for 40+ years? How do you explain that?

 

[JohnsonDDG]

You never heard of those couples who the guy insisted for a year until she gave in and been married for 40+ years? How do you explain that?

I've never heard of that. If she liked him she would have said yes from the start.

 

[hairblues]

I've never heard of that. If she liked him she would have said yes from the start.

I did not even understand that and I read it 3x.

 

[resu]

I've never heard of that. If she liked him she would have said yes from the start.

There's tons of couples like that and yeah why the wait? I guess some women just don't want to commit right away and when they see that there ain't a better option in the horizon they give in and look and wonder, the guy was their right partner after all.

 

[resu]

I did not even understand that and I read it 3x.

Some guys ask a girl out many times and she says no every time for months until she says yes and they get married and live happily married for many decades.

Capisce?

 

[hairblues]

Some guys ask a girl out many times and she says no every time for months until she says yes and they get married and live happily married for many decades.

Capisce?

Capisce.

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Some guys ask a girl out many times and she says no every time for months until she says yes and they get married and live happily married for many decades.

Capisce?

It's called settling. When they realize that their time is running out they have to settle for the safe bet. The beta provider who always is ready to accept their love. They might be married for decades, but one thing is certain. They aren't happy, but atleast they aren't alone, right? XD

 

[Haironn]

tbh I don't know where you all live at, maybe it works like that in america, but in my place no one is really a "beta provider" the women give their share too, it's not like the guy funds her, it's usually 50/50, even if the guy gives more (cause usually men get payed more than women, plus most men like to be the providers anyway and don't want the women to pay for them), the women still give their share.

I've never actually met a beta provider in my life.

 

[Rudiger]

I've never heard of that. If she liked him she would have said yes from the start.

Dude immersed in the online dating world wrote this - shocker!

If only people were this simple minded we'd all be married by 20, unfortunately life is a lot more complicated than simply seeing someone and liking them, or in this example not liking them, and later realising they could be good for you over all the others you've liked aesthetically and just wasted your time.

Of course the example of a woman who was asked out 10 times and eventually caved in and ended up happy for decades, it's from a bygone era. It may be less common now, but to act like this is an impossibility or alien to us, you're being intentionally close minded because of your own personal experience.

 

[Rudiger]

It's called settling. When they realize that their time is running out they have to settle for the safe bet. The beta provider who always is ready to accept their love. They might be married for decades, but one thing is certain. They aren't happy, but atleast they aren't alone, right? XD

This can be the case, and sometimes it's not. A friend of mine was trying to punch above his weight with a girl for 2 years, she liked him as a friend and eventually gave him a chance and instantly seemed to fall for him, age 18. A dozen years on and they're married.

I don't think she saw her time running out as a teenager.

I know that's just one anecdotal example (though I can think of more, maybe even a better one recently) overall it may be different and you could be right that this is mainly down to "settling" but this is all guesswork from either side. I don't think any of us can force "definites" in hypothetical situations when people are much more complicated than that, variables exist, case by case things can be different.

 

[rclark]

... stop posting about relationships. Seriously.

It seems like every week now we have a new guy busting in to give us his fresh two cents on chads and beta bucks, and every time he's quizzed on his actual relationship experience it turns out he's virgin, incel or some bog-standard normie who got dumped and couldn't handle the stress.

In my opinion there's a reason for this and it's that the sh*t you'll find around these blogs and forums is designed to get clicks from and feed into the insecurities of someone who is looking at relationships from the outside in.

Moreover, the guys who write this content have very little experience themselves and are often making inferences from things like dating app experiment. Consequently the views are extremely toxic and more importantly, mostly incorrect in how they portray the way dating and relations to the opposite sex really works.

So here's my suggestion: Can we please impose a rule that if you start posting sh*t from Lookism, RooshV, ChateauHertiste and the like, you must first give an account of your actual relationship experience first, and then in your every subsequent invocation of content like this? I feel it would be doing all of us a service.

Well, I would like to TELL EVERYBODY about this new girl I just meant.

So glad you asked.

 

[pjhair]

Of course the example of a woman who was asked out 10 times and eventually caved in and ended up happy for decades, it's from a bygone era. It may be less common now, but to act like this is an impossibility or alien to us, you're being intentionally close minded because of your own personal experience.

One of my friend got rejected three times before hi gf said yes for a date. They dated for a year. Eventually my friend broke up and moved to a difference city. The women didn't want to break up. It happens all the time. Albeit as you say, it's less common now.